2.8 Summer Sucks


Summer Sucks

Aired: June 24, 1998

Simply based off the title, I have no memory of this episode. I’m sure once I start researching I’ll remember some things. I do know there is one episode where all fireworks are banned and all they have is the worlds largest snake, which is hilarious.

My hopes are high after reading the wikipedia intro to this episode. This IS the giant snake episode, which was ALSO a VHS classic. While it has mostly been erased from my memory, there is one iconic moment that lives on in my mind. I will wax poetic about it on the pod.

Small intro, I need to watch this ASAP.

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Summer Sucks Scoresheet

Total Score / Rank

Drew –

Matt – 37.5

Composite – Current Rank:

Matt’s Review

This episode kicks off with the kids being in the last day of school before summer. Mr. Garrison is trying to figure out who stole Mr. Hat. He finds out quickly he can’t live without him and tells the students that summer vacation does not start until he gets Mr. Hat back. All of the students just leave when he turns his back. They show you all of the sights of South Park in the summer time. The boys head to Stu’s Firework shack. They try to buy M80s, but they quickly discover that all fireworks have been banned in Colorado. The mayor is outraged about this as well. Officer Barbrady is searching for “the little man in the boat”…and finds him. The mayor decides that South Park is going to have the largest snake in the world for the 4th of July. They boys decide they are going to sled since they don’t have fireworks. Uncle Jimbo then discovers from them that fireworks are banned. Him and Ned head to Mexico to get fireworks. “Dyno Might” is the company giving the mayor the presentation about the record breaking snake. It is going to require helicopters and flamethrowers. The boys create “Dusty the Dirtball” when Mr. Garrison encounters the boys. Mr. Garrison plays off missing Mr. Hat, but looks as though he is going insane…because he is. The boys make fun of Cartman for signing up for swimming lessons. We then see Cartman at swimming lessons. He jumps in and they pee in the pool next to him. The band begins to practice for the 4th of July and it is…a disaster to say the least. Uncle Ned is then seen buying the fireworks in Mexico. Mr. Garrison begins getting prank calls asking about Mr. Hat. He has visions of killing other puppets that he sees on TV and it makes him…happy. We then see more of Cartman at swimming lessons. He gets peed on again and…goes home. It becomes time for the record breaking snake. The school band plays and it is…hideous. The mayor cuts it off and tells them to light the snake. Uncle Ned and Jimbo head back from Mexico. They come upon the border. They answer the explosive question “wrong.” We then see the snake growing..and growing…and growing. The mayor begins to worry. It terrorizes the town. They do the math and discover it is not going to run out until November of next year. It proceeds to destroy South Park. The boys decide to ask Chef for help, but Chef is on an island..singing about threesomes. The boys call chef and he tells them “fudge ya” The giant snake grows across the entire country, destroying it all in it’s path. Mr. Garrison heads to New York to see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist tells Mr. Garrison he thinks he is gay and that Mr. Hat was his gay side trying to come out. Uncle Ned and Jimbo are seen in Texas jail working on their border answers. The snake taks out the jail and they escape. We see a brief scene of Brett Favre and Mr. Hat in a sauna. South Park holds a press conference, but the mayor no shows. Everyone is outraged..until they discover it is because she is on her period. The message from the mayor is “We’re sorry, our bad.” We then see Cartman practicing his swimming to the deep end. Uncle Jimbo and Ned arrive back at South Park with the Tijuana Bottle Rockets. They light them and they destroy the giant snake. Cartman then arrives at the deep end. All of the first graders get back in and the pool turns yellow from pee. South Park celebrates “winter” from the ash. Mr. Garrison introduces everyone to Mr. Twig. Chef arrives back in South Park. Everyone is black from the ash. He says he is going to whip all of their asses.

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